Discouraged

I'm getting so tired of this TTC thing. Or maybe it's the results I'm getting tired of. Yes, I know I'm blessed to have one child, especially when I know there are plenty of people who can't have their own children. I just don't feel that my family is complete with only one child. We've been TTC for about 15 months now and it's just hard. I was so hopeful this month. I went past my maximum cycle length of 31 days. That was hopeful even though I had 2 negative HPTs. I was just hoping that I ovulated really late and it was still too early to get a positive. Nope. My body's playing games with me. Even Clayton was getting hopeful, and I had to convince him to have a second child. I'm so close to the point where I want to say 'find out what's wrong. I don't care what the cost is.' Unfortunately, I do care what the cost is. Insurance isn't gonna pay for a blasted thing, so I have to care what the cost will be.

In other news, my almost 3-year-old has RSV and a double ear infection. He started wheezing Monday night, so I took him to the doctor Tuesday afternoon. She gave him meds for the ear infection and to calm his breathing. She warned me that the meds for his breathing would make him bounce off the walls. He's not exactly bouncing off walls, but he is talking a mile a minute, crashing, and starting all over again. Clayton kept him home today, Nona will be here tomorrow, and Clayton will tough it out again Friday. (He's got to work tonight and Thursday, but is off Friday, so will forgo sleep until I can get home from work. That's how we've got to do it since the company I work for doesn't offer sick leave...)