Emotionally drained.

What makes a...change...in a friendship so emotionally draining? Maybe change isn't the right word. Rift? Canyon? Without going into details, I had a friend really hurt my feelings this weekend. She called apologizing and crying and saying she'd do anything to make it up to me. It's kind of tough to make up missing a once-in-a-lifetime happening, though. Something that was very important to me. I called her yesterday and left a message (tearful, but still, a message) on her cell saying that our friendship is okay. I so totally don't want to lose my friend because she hurt me. I haven't heard from her. Not even a 'happy birthday' yesterday. I'm so emotionally drained that I have been crying at the drop of a hat for the last 2 days.

Maybe I need to take the iniative and pick up the phone and call her again. After all, I'm the one who needs to do the forgiving. But, I put the ball back in her court when I called yesterday. Did she even get my message? I'm sure she probably did. She called the other person involved in all this mess like nothing ever happened. So, maybe it is time to pick up the phone and make the call. I know I'm gonna cry. I'm still a little hurt. Not as much as I was Sunday though. Am I bitter? Maybe a little. It needs to go. It's not helping me any.

God? Take this bitterness and hard feelings and hurt feelings from me. Help me to make the phone call that I need to make to begin to heal my friendship. I know there will be a scar from it, Lord, but a scar is better than an open, festering wound. God, my stomach is in knots because I know I am going to cry and I don't particularly want to cry. Give me peace. Thank you. Amen.